There is nothing, absolutely nothing, more frustrating in the world of intramural sports than looking at the schedule and seeing your next opponent has a name like “Law School."
For anyone who has played on a serious intramural team, and I know not all teams are serious in demeanor, you know what I am talking about. Whether the sport is football or softball, the division co-rec or men’s, a graduate school team on the schedule can generally mean only one thing: imminent doom.
Let me paint a picture for you. A freshman hall, a generally rag-tag bunch of guys, all athletic enthusiasts, decides to put together a team. However, upon arriving at their first game, the guys are met by an opponent who brings not only the necessary bats and gloves to the game, but also wives and children.
Now, I realize that a wife and kid is not, in and of itself, worth complaining about, particularly in the context of sports. After all, anyone can watch any game. However, the problem is not just in the company the grad school teams bring with them. The fact that they bring children is just somewhat comical. The problem, rather, is in the level of play that often accompanies a grad school team.
I am all for a challenge. Hell, the reason I play intramural sports is to live out my delusions of athletic prowess. Having played varsity sports since I was a freshman in high school, without playing IM, there would be a huge competitive void in my life. I welcome rivalry, in all of its forms.
However, and this is a big however, I don’t like getting slaughtered by unfair competition. And that is, in many cases, what happens when a grad school team comes onto the field.
There are numerous advantages that these teams have, particularly their age. Because they are in grad school, they are older, generally bigger and stronger and therefore physically advantaged. Just as a college team wouldn’t play a high school football team, neither should a graduate team play an undergraduate team.
Perhaps more notable, even, is the presence of ex-varsity athletes on grad school teams. While college varsity athletes cannot play on IM teams, there is no rule regarding the presence of ex-varsity athletes. Students in grad school, therefore, who played varsity football in college but have since graduated, are eligible for IM football without a hitch. This is where the problem seems to lie.
Last year, for example, I recall playing a team that boasted a former Hofstra QB - Hofstra is in our football conference - and a WR who played for Marshall, a D-I program that routinely competes to win the MAC conference.
Again, I love competition, but there is a reason that students play football on Wednesday nights for a team named after their freshman hall and not Saturday afternoons for the Tribe. Therefore, when faced with the daunting task of matching up with a former D-I WR who was getting looks from another college QB, I felt overmatched.
I have nothing against the graduate school here at the College. I may even apply to it, some day. However, there are few things that are more frustrating than seeing a team like the one a friend of mine once saw on his IM schedule for football - “Not Undergrads.”
IM sports are about competition, are about fun, but it does not seem fair that they occasionally pit a 26 year-old who played college football against an 18 year-old who didn’t even play high school football.
Call me a whiner, but I for one am tired of playing against the grad school.
John Hill is sports editor for The DSJ. His views do not necessarily represent those of the entire staff.
This piece originally appeared in the November 2008 issue issue of The DoG Street Journal.