The Story

Hunting and Gathering on Campus

Jun. 20, 2008 | By Jonna Knappenberger, co-Editor in Chief

It’s true. I am a rising senior and have only eaten in the William and Mary dining halls a handful of times.

Transferring to the College as a sophomore, I was able to skip out on the mandatory freshman meal plan and get to work on losing my own freshman 15 from the year before. This means I am an expert on the Williamsburg Food Lion and Ukrops and Wawa and campus vending machines. Not so much on the cafeterias.

Thus, I sat down recently with two friends who have been meal-plan-dependent for their entire William and Mary careers. I wanted a true insider’s view on campus cuisine.

I hardly had to ask a question about dining choices when Friend 1 piped up, “Phyllis’ omelets weekdays at the U.C. She’s pretty much my savior.”

Apparently there’s a woman who wears a name tag that says “Phyllis.” I have not talked to her, personally, so I’m assuming that’s her real name, and I’m assuming that’s how it’s spelled. It looks like Phyllis is truly a big deal to some people on this campus, including my Friend 1.

There’s a Facebook group called, “I only eat omelettes from the UC if Phyllis makes them!!” . There are also groups dedicated to other dining services characters: Erica , Curtis and Stacy .

I asked what types of omelets Phyllis specializes in.

“Anything you want - within reason,” he responded. “She’s there at 7 a.m., with a smile, always nice.”

I asked if other students know Phyllis by name, too.

“Everybody who’s anybody,” he said.

I wondered out loud if my Friend 1 likes anything else at the U.C. as much as he loves Phyllis and, especially, her glorious omelets. Friend 1 told me that, aside from Phyllis’ work, there are some platters that are sub-par.

His dining hall horror story revolves around a “Beef Wellington” dish. Friend 1 explained to me that a “Beef Wellington” is supposed to be a cut of meat within a fried pastry. But instead, “it was what you’d imagine testicles would taste like.”

Here, Friend 2 chimed in and said, “Off the record for a moment - I’ve eaten testicles before and it wasn’t that bad.”

For the record, we later qualified that comment as on the record. And, also for the record, they were beef.

I asked them both about the people like me, the people who don’t have meal plans and necessarily end up eating alone in their dorm rooms.

Friend 1 said he knows a handful of people who do that and that they are a little bit sad. Mostly, he said, they are upperclassmen, “who are on their way out.”

I don’t usually think of myself in those terms.

I asked if they would ever be willing to get take-out and come eat with me. Friend 1 said he would and, “I like you, Jonna. You’re not a loser.” Friend 2 said, “You do live pretty far away.”

When it came to rating the different venues on campus, the consensus was that the Marketplace, in the Campus Center, wasn’t the best option (“fast food, slowly”), and the Caf, near William and Mary Hall, was great but not worth the trek. It seems like the place to be is the U.C., a.k.a. the “Sadler Center,” right in the center of things.

Others disagree. I’ve heard that the U.C. is only good for the ice cream and salad.

In any case, both friends had a favorable view of campus food. Friend 2 suggested that one should always stop eating anything that tastes bad. I agree. Beware, freshmen -- dining hall brownies are not worth it.

Both of my friends denied ever wanting to get off the meal plan system and fend for themselves.

“With the money of the meal plan,” said Friend 1, “and a better kitchen facility - no, no, wait. I couldn’t make a better omelet than Phyllis does. It’s worth it.”

Whenever I can, I get the hummus and pita bread package that is sold at the Marketplace, in the library and in the Student Exchange in the U.C. Friend 1 informed me that some friend of his, a “princess from Dubai,” complained about this hummus. According to gossipy Friend 1, she told him, “Hummus is more than just garbanzo paste.” And then she taught him to make “real hummus” and he was in heaven.

Don’t listen to those rumors. I love the food service hummus.

I actually went vegan for a semester - no meat, no dairy. Looking back, I attribute most of my protein intake during that time to that food service hummus and the wonderful Portobello mushroom sandwiches in those stores. Another of my favorites is the sushi boxes.

Even as a no-meal-plan food scavenger, I can’t really complain. I enjoy my anti-social freedom. And to all of those food plan dependents, more power to you, too. I’ll enjoy my hummus and you can have your omelets.

Say “hi” to Phyllis for me.



Jonna Knappenberger is co-Editor in Chief of The DSJ and an opinions contributor. Her views do not necessarily represent those of the entire staff.