"When a man and a woman love each other very very much, and they both decide that they are ready to accept the responsibilities of their actions, they sometimes choose to express their love in a physical way." This is the well-thought-out response of many parents to that ever-feared question, â€˜what is sex?’ In some cases, this rather vague definition still holds true. But why is it that the value of love is all too often forgotten with the not-so-recent development of casual sex?
Today, all over America, it seems as if sex is sometimes grouped into the category of a pastime or a simple exercise activity. Our youth has been pegged as guilty of becoming numb to the fantastic feeling of connection that sex gives to two people. Our generation has apparently stripped it of meaning entirely. It’s not a secret either. Everyone seems to know when and where sex is happening, and I think that all of us have heard the term â€˜sexiled’ used more than once.
So we’ve become desensitized to what can be seen as a very special, sentimental act. Who cares? Times change, and what is constituted as socially acceptable shifts as well. That’s just a fact of life, right?
Take a look at what perpetuates the thoughts of our youth. Each of us pays more than $6 or $8 now to see a movie chock full of sexual content which provides the message that the fun can begin as soon as you find someone who shows remote interest in you. We all flip on Sex and the City, Friends, and The Sopranos for casual entertainment on the rocks with a twist of sex. Sex is even transmitted over the sound waves. We can hear orgasmic references in old songs like â€˜Push (In the Bush)’ by Clair Hicks and the Love Exchange, and in contemporary pieces like â€˜Magic Stick’ by 50 Cent and L’il Kim.
The question here is, how do we rekindle the lost magic of sex? We can’t. While some of us are waiting for the nuptial vows before taking a bedtime plunge, the fact remains that casual sex has become a thing of the times again, as it was in the 60’s and 70’s. The truth of the matter is that we didn’t start the fire! This is something that has been around, and a lot of the people who are actually pursuing casual sex are not complaining. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen are saying "yes please" to being untied to another person and just living the moment.
Is this right or wrong? It’s really not up to society to decide at this point. Sex is still, and always will be, a personal decision. Whether the public chooses to work towards traditional values again or not, I have a feeling that people are going to tackle in the game if they really want to. The bottom line is that the game itself isn’t going anywhere.
I’m not saying that casual sex is something that should or should not be continued. Hey, if the boat rocks just fine, keep on floating. But keep in mind that casual sex is not the only option. Sometimes, you can actually find a hint of love out there and that deeper connection that people talk about every once in a while. Keep an open mind--in and out of the bedroom.
Kimberly Magnowski is a staff columnist for the DSJ. Her views do not necessarily represent those of the entire staff.